Saturday, August 7, 2010

What do you say, what advice can you give...

My son is 21 and living with his girlfriend.  They plan to marry one of these days.  She is a bit older with three kids.  They are like any other young couple, they fight and make up, money, kids, how the house is cleaned.  It's just in the last few months, things are not doing so well.

In the Spring, she lost her job.  Since she was the only one working...that was hard. He stayed home and took care of the house, cooking and child care while she worked.  He doesn't drive, and where they live, there are so sidewalks.  It's not quite country, but close enough.  My son finally found a job, not as well paying but it wasn't too shabby either.  We live in an economic nightmare for jobs. So this one was a God-send.   He called me last week to say he lost the job, cutbacks...and things were worse than ever between them.  They have few options for jobs and housing in the county in which they live.  His dad offered them room and board for them and the kids free of charge till they could get on their feet.  She refuses to go.  Yes he lives in another state, but it's only 4 hours away. And it's not like it would have to be forever.

My son feels like his lady is not willing to fight for them.  She want him so shoulder all responsibility and she just sit back and let life happen.  I know this is only his point of view, I've haven't talked to her, and won't .  I like her, but how far can I interfere. He is trying, as far as I can tell, to keep the relationship solid as possible.  But I also know, he can't do it alone.

If anybody who happens across this blog, has any ideas, please post.  Be nice people, they are young and times are hard.  Most of my advice is dated and doesn't really apply to life in this day and age.  Especially the job mentality.



  1. I'm sorry to hear about that Jessica. I don't have any good ideas but I just wanted to say that as a parent I wouldn't uproot my kids to another state if I didn't absolute have to. Moving sucks and moving far is even worse if the children have ties to that area.
    I would try to find another option without moving because of the children. If I were single with no kids leaving would be a great idea.


  2. Thanks for the post Ms. M. And you are right, and I know it. But the poor guy is desperate.